Saturday, May 16, 2009

The New Disney

Is it just me or has every "kid" show become more and more of a brat fest?
I was flipping through the channels the other day and I realized that television just isn't what it used to be.
Even in the last couple years it changed so dramatically it makes me want to cry. ESPECIALLY on "young adults" shows. I hate that word. Young adults. You're either an adult or your not. Period. Skinny or fat. The End.
And when it comes to "young adults" watching television it comes down mainly to two channels: Disney and Nickelodeon.
But the thing is, is that they are NO LONGER "Disney" and "Nickelodeon". They are "Bitch Brats" and "Obnoxiously Demonic". There is no middle ground. No normalcy. They aren't even real people.

The shows consist of:
1. Hannah Montana--aka Bitch-from-hell-who-now-owns-her-parents because she's making all doe prancing around in Brittany Spears Wannabe wigs and jeans that are so tight they cut off all blood flow to the brain. Hannah Montana is such a snob it makes me want ralph all over her werid-ass accent. Its not a nashville accent. Its not a California accent. I honestly think she just made it up. Anyway, enough said. I've spent too many letters on her anyway.

2. Zac and Cody--aka The Midget Twins. I hate how shows think that if they all just talk super loud then that means its funny. Its not. Its obnoxious and actually it just hurts my head. Even flipping through the channels its like a big blow horn! Every time they open their mouths I start to see spots floating around and I feel like I need some Excedrin. Try whispering or pantomiming. Maybe then I could stand to look at your abnormally small torsos.

3. iCarly--not only does this show encourage kids to film themselves and post in on youtube for the world to see (followed by large men who have intereseting imaginations) but it makes them think that they have an actual chance at fame. They do not. Its a harsh world. Get used to it kiddos!!!! YOU WILL NEVER BE SPECIAL! And btw, eat a cookie. When the space between your two legs is wider than your actual leg you've got a problem. Its called anorexia. Sorry Carly, but I only speak the truth.

Do you see what I mean? Disney and Nick--get some real actors with some plain talent. Wow, what a funny concept. Talent. Hmmmm....
Hasta Luego,
Just Jenny*

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